I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain my theory on Christian dating. But I do believe that if you are seeking God’s will about who you date, He will lead you to someone that is a true fit for you.I don’t mean that your future spouse will be perfect or that you will think alike or always agree on everything. But I do believe that if you seek God’s guidance, He will lead you to the person who is going to be the match for you.I’ve read many books about relationships and Christian dating. His views helped me establish my own standards regarding marriage.I decided that I wanted nothing less than God’s best for me. It means if you have doubts about the relationship, if your significant other doesn’t treat you with the upmost respect, if you argue more than you get along, if you constantly find yourself defending him or her to your friends, then end it.The world tells you that the point of dating it to find out what you like and don’t like. Christian writers and speakers always say to look for a man that will be a spiritual leader, but how do we know? When you talk to him, ask him if he thinks this guy would be a good spiritual leader in a relationship. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Proverbs ESV). Remember, you can not miss out on God’s perfect plan for your life when you follow him and live by the Holy Spirit.I could go on, and if you’re a part of almost any kind of Christian community, you probably can too.It’s not hard to look around and notice that there’s a problem with today's dating scene. Ultimately, the purpose of dating is to eventually get married; so in that sense, we can’t date willy-nilly and play with people’s hearts. Hooking up is wrong because it’s totally selfish: we use another person for our own pleasure. Catholics tend to take this approach — taking dating far too seriously.
You know those questions you have always wanted answered? This series will include questions about the pre-dating friendship, dating, and physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries. God has taught me a lot about guys, dating, and purity the last few years and I’m glad my pain is now being used for good. Groups is best for the early stages of the relationship. The world tells you that you should constantly spend alone time together. Groups are the best way to get to know someone and protect your heart. Instead, I wanted to get to know the man he had become, not the man that he was. If you go too deep too fast and then end up not dating, you will feel exposed, lost, and even more hurt. In college, I dated a guy who was the “great” Christian guy in our college ministry. Serving is a huge sign that this man will serve and lead you and your relationship. Life will happen, and you will see how he reacts to life.
Ever had these thoughts about someone you are dating? Too many of my friends are finding themselves there now too.
I can’t say that I’m an expert on relationships, but if there is one thing that I feel like God taught me during my dating years (and it took about three years too many for me to learn this) it is that you should never settle for less than God’s best.
Get out there and share some memorable activities too!
Now that you've been dating for a while, here are some questions to use when things are heating up.